Stop Fighting Who You Are

jeffrey dallas, julian smith, style of your own blog

I wrote about alter ego’s last week and the fun we have with dressing or acting a little differently than whatever our “normal” is. So it’s funny how a friend (who hasn’t read the post) mentioned them in a group conversation this morning. Except her interpretation was a completely different idea and really got me to thinking.

She said it seems like we have this alter ego that is completely opposite us and we strive to be like it. Even if it’s unrealistic and unattainable.

Hmmm. That was a lightbulb moment for me.

I have traits about myself that I dislike and somehow I have convinced myself if I was opposite that trait, I would be stronger, more successful, more liked, more fill-in-the-blank. For example I am a “highly sensitive person”. Trust me, I read an article yesterday about HSP’s and Nik and I both laughed at how well it explained me. For whatever reasons [probably starting with the fact that I grew up with five brother's + a lack of emotional communication in the family] I developed this idea that to be a stronger person I should not be sensitive. This only led to many frustrating moments of trying to squelch my emotions if something hurt [for perfectly valid reasons].

What if we are made to be [you fill in the blank].

I was made to be highly sensitive. 

Why? Because it means I can empathize so deeply with someone as if I am going through the situation. Because God has his reasons and I have to love myself the way I am. Whatever the ultimate reason, it is me. And I am going to be stronger, more successful, more liked if I learn to work in my strengths rather than fight them.

So what is that character trait about yourself that you have fought so hard to change? Once you decide what it is, how can you make it a strength? We are all made completely unique so if we stop fighting who we are made to be, I think we will be much more satisfied.



  • Bianca

    I think every HSP can relate to this!

    This reminds me of really good writers I’ve read of who pretended to be soldiers or noblemen (Faulkner & Yeats come to mind). Writers dream to be like them now, but when they were alive… they dreamed of being someone else! So ironic.

  • Mollie Parks


    I hear ya! That’s a wonderful analogy. At least the general outlook toward artist’s professions has improved since that time in history. We just have to remember that we ARE important, when we work within our talent.

    Thanks for sharing :)